Ronaldo Gilley

I truly believe that a human male cannot become a man until he has the proper parameters required of manhood. There are still many grown adult males in this world still behaving as children – without parameters and without the drive of purpose. A few men were fortunate enough to learn the parameters of manhood through trial and error because there was no father figure in their life during the crucial time of their development. But know that is a rare occurrence, most simply become grown adults that are simply lost and without direction.

I was supremely fortunate because none of those scenarios applied to me. I am a man today. I am also an extremely present father in my child’s life. I have parameters and live my life driven by purpose. This is all possible because my father gave me those parameters. He gave me a strong foundation to build upon. He never looked upon me and placed limits on what I could achieve. Instead, he gave me a standard and gave me the responsibility of outworking the standard. While my mother nurtured and poured love into her baby boy, my father impressed upon me the need for achievement, the need for excellence, and the requirement to be guided by intellect and composure.

My father is strong and immensely intelligent. He cast a big shadow for his son. And I strive for excellence and achievement every day. The external world makes no difference to me, I simply want to make my father proud.

My father is hot tempered, but also extremely generous. My father is sometimes misunderstood, but not by me. I am his biggest advocate; I am his biggest fan.

Every man must have a personal code that he abides by. My father taught me about having a code. He didn’t just outline it in word, he exhibited it in deed. My father taught me about personal accountability. He taught me about ethics. He taught me about the importance of eating the right foods. The mind dwells in the body and the mind cannot thrive in an unhealthy body.

Growing up, I was able to discern between those who just spoke a good game and those who were about the words they spoke. I never respected a person who was “all talk”. My father is a man of action. So that is what I respected. My father taught me the importance of looking a person in the eyes as the speak. He taught me the importance of a firm handshake. My father taught me the importance of speaking other languages and exemplified it in him speaking those languages. My father taught me about loyalty and the value of staying true to a pact. My father is imperfect, but beautifully imperfect and glorious in his many gifts.

I understand that the man I am and the man that I am becoming are not solely of my own doing. My tenacity, my drive, my inability to accept failure as the final step, my inability to accept mediocrity as my final product are all the byproducts of father’s teachings and my father’s life as a living testimony. I have seen my father in the worst of situations and instead of withering, he used tragedy as an opportunity to self-improve, to expand himself amidst situations not conducive to expansion. He taught me the importance of knowing your surroundings and also mastering your environment.

When I was in my teens, maybe even younger, a lady once marveled at how I was succeeding academically despite all I had endured. I simply told her that I am a survivor. My father showed me how to do that. To be a survivor requires strength of mind, body, and spirit. Because all three are one and must be strong to endure and overcome adversity. My father is strong. My father’s life is the greatest example of fortitude and courage. Understanding that times may not always be ideal, but that is when you take a breath, steel yourself, and take courage with you as you march forward towards that battle, knowing that the only path to victory is though that fire.

That same warrior’s spirit that lives in him also lives in me. That is the reason failure is not only a non-option, it also an impossibility. Failure may be a step in the process, but it is not the final outcome. It is about having the mindset that we will see our way out of it. And that we already possess the strength and gifts required to endure that fire until we emerge from it victorious. And the most profound understanding that the longer we remain in that fire, we become the master of that fire. At that point, the fire is ours to command. Then the fire burns to serve our purpose.

My father, I cheer for him, I serve him, I am loyal to him.

My father is my hero, he is my king, he is my patriarch, he is my friend.

Happy Father’s Day to the greatest man in my life.