Ronaldo Gilley

Are you living your best life? Or are you just lingering?

Are you being true to your inner core or are you living life through limitations placed on yourself by others?

Many people are content with being cogs in the wheel of capitalism or whatever system they belong to. Most, however, are not even aware of this level of existence. They are blind to their personal spirit and self-interest.

If you’ve ever felt that you are not being true to yourself (as I have in the past) and that you are meant for a deeper purpose than your current state of living, then you are on the right path. At least, you are questioning, pondering. That is the key to true intelligence and spiritual development.

I offer no get-rich quick and heal quick strategies. I am an avid believer that the answers for you rest within you. Therefore, I can offer no blanket solutions for people. However, I can offer advice that can lead you toward discovering your personal truth, your personal solution, and personal revolution.

Put simply, if you are not living your best life, then, change your life. In most cases, this is not something done easily, so if you are not up to do the work, stop reading now and go back to wasting away on the couch. If you are down to continue developing as a person and change your current trajectory, I offer you the four initial steps in getting there.

#1 – Meet yourself where you are.

Assess where you are in life – spiritually, professionally, financially, and socially. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. This allows you to lay a foundation that will help you improve upon strengths and either eliminate or mitigate your weaknesses. This can only come to you by being honest with yourself. My blog post, “Are You Really Looking in the Mirror?” dives into the act of taking self inventory.

Remember to never judge your life by where someone else is or appears to be (I mean, the advent of social media is making a lot of people appear to be a billionaire moguls when the reality of their lives is far from that).

Every person has their own path and there is no standard roadmap to success. Success itself must be defined by the individual. For example, one may believe that making a million dollar profit in business is a mark of success. To others, doing what they love and living a life of peace and simplicity is the true mark of success. I cannot tell you what success is for you. Only you can do that. But once you have defined success, you now have a target and a starting point.

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”

– Colin Powell

#2 – Know yourself and see yourself through your own lens.

Whenever you embark upon a great endeavor, ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I am truly passionate about it or am I doing this because others expect me to behave in a certain manner?”

Remove yourself from the victimhood that comes from conforming to the expectations of others – this includes family and significant others. Your actions must be taken from the standpoint of conforming to your true self, your actual desires and passion (not vices, those can be destructive). When you think of yourself, you should only hear your voice, not your mother, father, or spouse. When you see yourself, it should be a true depiction through your own personal lens, not through the eyes of others. It is key that your self-view be true, not another false identify to escape accountability.

Remember, most people are conforming to social programming. In that spirit, they need to categorize others in order to understand their world. By changing your path and ultimately your life, you are stepping outside of people’s expectations and perception of you. This may ruffle some feathers, this may shock some people. But the goal is to be in alignment with your true self. Conforming to the expectations of others becomes irrelevant at that point.

Maybe you are customer service rep for a phone company, but you want to become a nurse. This requires stepping out of a comfort zone and not only working a job for six to eight hours a day, but also going to school, investing time in studying, and investing financially in tuition. To some, the infringement on rest and the added financial burden are enough to deter them from pursuing a new career. They may try to discourage you from the pursuit by placing their limitations on you. Be unyielding in your passionate endeavors. Remember to disregard all limitations placed on you by others.

#3 – Get ready and take aim.

It is important to set realistic and measurable goals. You should have an ultimate target. You can get there by setting smaller step-goals called milestones. Each step is a step forward towards achieving the larger goal.

You will need to know what the goal is specifically and document the necessary steps to get there. As you go through the process, conquering milestones, you are going to be learning, so do not be discouraged if you discover new information and have to update or revise your plan and targets. This is a part of the process, and as they say, Trust Your Process.

#4 – Greatness and breakthroughs are never achieved in comfort zones.

Your new path or trajectory will be different. It may require more time of you or a different level of focus. This could feel uncomfortable and tempt you to get back into old habits. For example, when I took on the endeavor of writing a novel, I gave up most of my leisure time. Because I am an active father and work a full time job in corporate America to pay for my lifestyle, writing the novel had to be done outside of the normal margins of life. So, instead of sleeping in on the weekends, I get up at 6 a.m. to work on the novel, so that I can make progress in writing and still be dad. The end result is getting up Monday morning feeling like I need two more rest days because I actually had a 7-day work week.

Moral of the story is that you must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Over time, the newly develop skills and habits will become routine. This is how growth is achieved. You will then need to step outside of your newly developed comfort zone in order to achieve the next level of growth.

Do the work, get things done!

The great Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” No one can tell you who you are; only you can do that. Take out some time to discover your passions and what is important to you. I remain in tune with my inner core and passions via meditation – this may or may not be your way, but whatever it is, do it. Then, be sure to align your actions with your truest self. That is the only way to live your best life. Dreams are only figments of your imagination until you do the work to bring them into this world.