In a tango with the devil that I love
Who burns me every time
Drunken from the sweet poison she feeds me
And once again I dine
My cup runneth over…with tears
The love that she deprived me of for years
My soul runs on empty
Unable to let go of the blade between my hands
Because of so many fears
So, I willingly suffer the wounds
Cut deeply and I bleed
Uphill, futile, and endless pleas
But she can never give me the love that I truly need
Then for a moment I breathe
Tasting an addict’s toxic breath
A moment of clarity
Realizing I am addicted indeed
Clinging to that which sees me as only a thing
Nothing more than an overextended fling
Her moods come and go like the breeze
My emotions with which she toys
Nurtures my wound, strengthens the attachment, then emotionally flees
Do I leave?
No, I work harder for her love
Allowing her to manipulate me with ease
It’s hard to explain
Maybe it’s a masochistic addiction to the pain
Maybe her poison is the only medicine I know
And she gives me just enough
Not enough to thrive
But just enough to maintain
And when I am down to my lowest of lows
She delivers me the hardest of blows
Sweet toxins to the vein, opens my nose
An immediate but temporary high
In which I feel alive once again
Ronaldo Gilley 