We have often heard people say that life is about the journey more than the destination.
The meaning of this is subjective and can be interpreted differently based on the mental lens of the individual. Let me tell you how I see it.
In life, there are many experiences and transformations. Actually, that is life – experiences and transformations. Once you no longer have experiences and transformations, you have reached your destination and that destination is death. Sorry to sound so bleak. That is actually not where I’m going. My point is life is the journey as you are constantly in flux. And that is a beautiful thing.
It is the journey which shapes you. The journey makes you via its many cycles. There is a multitude of emotions we experience during this journey including happiness, sadness, joy, satisfaction, disappointment, bliss, and heartbreak.
The key is to spend time learning who you are – as the ancients of Kemet taught, “know thyself” – and build on that foundation. No matter your situation, you are special and you serve a purpose (even if you’ve yet to discover it).
There are many ups and downs in life. But, as long as you remember who you are amidst all of it, you shall always possess the level of clarity necessary to overcome adversity.
It is the lack of knowing thyself that often leads one to feeling lost. That is because, somewhere along the journey, you either forgot who you are or you never knew yourself in the first place.
That is what drives that empty feeling of despair and irresoluteness within.
Of course, I speak from experience. Along my life’s journey, I have employed 7 key actions to stay centered and also to find myself when I begin to feel lost.
1 – Meditate.
Put simply, just be alone with your own thoughts. Many people make this too complicated for meditation newbies. Think of it this way, you don’t have to float in the air or have an out of body experience. You just need some time alone to actually hear yourself think. So, put away the devices and turn the TV off. Just breathe and allow your thoughts to flow. You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn about yourself simply by being alone with your thoughts.
2 – Be honest with yourself.
Admit how you feel. About everything. If there are feelings you’ve been sweeping under your mental rug or placing them in that secret suitcase in the corner of your mind, it’s time to unpack that. Every relationship – intimate or otherwise – will be impacted by the baggage you keep. And, you cannot expect to be honest with someone else if you cannot first be honest with yourself.
3 – Recognize that you are worthy.
It’s easy to have a pity party when we reach low points in life. It’s okay, have that pity party for a day or two. But that’s it! After that, recognize that you are only human. You are going to make mistakes, no way around it. That doesn’t mean you are not worthy of happiness or love. Forgive yourself. Because you are worthy.
4 – Put it all into perspective.
Every experience in this journey is a tool. It can either be a tool of destruction or a tool of construction. I learned this exact lesson about heartbreak. In the victim role, I allowed heartbreak to bring me to a sunken place – a place of despair and self pity. But then I realized that I have many goals in life and playing the victim wasn’t going to further my goals. I decided to use heartbreak as a tool for construction. It allowed me to put everything into perspective, which is that life goes on. Heartbreak is not the end. Heartbreak creates the opportunity for you to reassess your relationship beliefs, take accountability, and reshape the way you envision your future.
5 – Take Inventory.
Again, you must be completely honest with yourself. This is all about accountability and addressing the qualities we have that make us great and those that contribute to our downfall. The great attributes should be kept and praised. You’ll need them to continue towards your next level of “glow up”. The not-so-great attributes, throw those out. They’ve become bad habits that you’ve accepted as normal. It is a part of that old baggage weighing you down and preventing your elevation.
6 – Keep a personal journal.
Remember that diary in middle school? Turns out it’s not a bad idea to continue writing one into adulthood. There is something therapeutic about writing your thoughts and feelings down on a piece of paper. It allows those thoughts to leave your mind in the abstract and enter this world in a very physical way. The page listens without interruption, without expectation, and without judgment. And, yes you can still write about your latest crush.
7 – Plan – realistically.
Now that you have clarity about what you desire in life, make realistic plans on how to be consistent and then take steps to get there. Simple. Write it down. Take action.
I am no guru and nor would I claim to be. I am simply a student of life, but if I can help be a light to some of you, I have done my part. Feel free to drop a comment below and follow me on Instagram. Peace and blessings.
Ronaldo Gilley 