Are you really looking in the mirror?
Michael Jackson stated, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” His chart-topping “Man in the Mirror” spoke to the power of personal accountability being the key factor to affecting change in this world.
But do you have the courage to self-evaluate?
What do you really want out of life?
What behaviors, actions or limiting beliefs do you have that prevent you from achieving your goals?
How often do you ask yourself these questions?
For those of you who have it all figured out – living those flawless lives – and have no need or desire for personal growth, this discussion is not for you. Feel free to leave my blog and go about your perfect life. My feelings won’t be hurt – I promise. Well, maybe a little bit. Still with me? Okay, then. If so, you are probably like me – far from perfect and still a “work in progress”, but still a work of art nonetheless.
Have you ever felt like you were just wandering through life with no direction or destination?
I certainly did. In my twenties, my life had very little structure. I had a desire of what I wanted to do with my life, but I didn’t have a solid vision of how that life would take shape. I took steps here and there, but had very little direction on how to take my life to the next level – physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I had desired outcomes in my mind, but the road map to getting there was completely missing. I was just taking random actions and random roads expecting that my deep desire and passion was enough to get me where I wanted to be.
Ten years or more passed, and before I knew it, I was in my thirties. I realized that I needed to sit down and reevaluate my life. This required me to take a slight break from the hustle and bustle and really look at myself. Hence, my question “Are you really looking in the mirror?” Taking personal inventory and practicing personal accountability can yield great results in your personal and professional life.
Have you ever considered what you did or did not do that led to an undesired effect in your life?
Before placing blame on the circumstance or others involved, you must be willing to evaluate the outcome as it relates to your decisions and actions, or lack thereof. That is personal accountability – taking responsibility for your actions.
Do you have the courage to see yourself as you really are versus who you want to be?
You must be able to evaluate yourself totally. This begins the process of taking personal inventory. In this process, you must be forthcoming with yourself on your shortcomings. Once you admit where you fall short, you can then take actions to improve the great masterpiece that you already are. Don’t point the finger; look in the mirror. It begins there.
Once I discovered that I actively control my life and that I am the co-creator of my success and disasters, I ceased the wandering in life – taking random steps, and began designing my path by taking focused actions based on my defined vision.
You must seek clarity in all aspects of life.
The life of the accountable human requires courage and a clear mind, but it is always much easier to blame others or the circumstance rather than reflect inwardly to determine what is lacking within self.
Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer” begins with, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Now, in full disclosure, I do not know much about the man, but those words utter truth and speak to the soul.
The Ancients knew very well that enlightenment began with knowing oneself.
No matter what challenge I am faced with, I find myself coming back to the Ancient Egyptian proverb of “Know thyself”. For me, this means self-reflection. In knowing oneself, it allows you to set realistic and measurable goals.
During the process of evaluating your outcomes versus your objectives it is imperative that you hold yourself accountable for the role you play in the final outcome.
The process of taking Personal Inventory requires attention to detail.
Because balance is essential to every aspect of life, you should not focus solely on the “bad” outcomes.
What things in your life are going really well? What goals did you achieve?
Be grateful for those things and seek a level of appreciation from within for those things. It is also important to celebrate each win, no matter how small.
Now that you’ve done that, how do you address the things that you wish and believe you can change?
This requires further reflection and evaluation. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Where is there imbalance in my life?
- Which outcomes was I unhappy with?
- What role did I play in each scenario?
- What behavior do I need to change or what action (or inaction) do I need to take?
This is most important: The only person with the RIGHT answers to these questions is YOU. You must spend time with yourself and truly get to know yourself in order to arrive at the answers.
Take ownership and responsibility for your life.
Free Will is an incredible Gift. It means that we are not just puppets on a string or mindless robots. We are Divine beings with a great deal of influence over the things that happen to us. That is not to say that life is without a certainly level of unpredictability. But many outcomes can be shaped by your mentality. So you must ask yourself, “Do my beliefs expand me – or do they limit me?”
Nothing in life is free.
There is always cost, even when it is not monetary. Even the miraculous act of a mother bringing life into this world requires the cost of her labor pains. The same is true of the steps required to achieve your goals. There will be a cost, be it fatigue, sacrifice of time, or otherwise.
Risk is always present before the reward.
You must also know that all things worth achieving, any endeavor that you embark upon – unless it is handed to you by someone else like an inheritance – requires some level of risk.
Do not allow the fear of risk or failure to stop you from realizing your dreams.
It hurts! It’s uncomfortable! That is why it’s called Growing Pains!
Personal growth is uncomfortable because you are forced to leave your comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone only creates complacency; it does not create growth. So, in order to grow, in order to achieve your dreams you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. There is no joy without pain.
And, of course, there are some great benefits of practicing personal accountability.
- It fosters a deep sense of commitment
- It creates a space for you to learn and develop further, preventing stagnation
- It pushes you to be dedicated to your vision
- It increases your self-worth because you truly know it
- It improves your relationships
- It keeps you focused on the action of oneself
I am not telling you what to desire in life. But, whatever it is, taking personal inventory and practicing personal accountability on the regular places you on the path to achieving what you desire. I am hopeful that this advice helps you on your personal journey. I am no guru, I am no expert. I am simply a work in progress sharing the insights I have gained on this great journey of life.
Feel free to add to the discussion in the comments section.
Ronaldo Gilley 